Conspiracy

Saturday

1. 6-7am upstairs neighbors' accursed cat.

2. 7am-present next door neighbors' newborn infant.

3. 8:24am wrong number.

4. 8:33am next door neighbors' attempt to soothe infant with liberal application of techno music.


8:36 am. Okay, okay. I'm up, people. You win.

Also? I hate you.

Vive la France

I am going to Paris for Thanksgiving--just as soon as I finish my accursed Dante research paper. This very short trip has been the light at the end of the tunnel of this darkish fall. Only four days there and, counting the way there and back, another day spent in the air, but still worth it. That is, if I can actually get from the airport to the city.

Two things the French enjoy:

1. Cheese
2. Labor strikes


Oh, how they enjoy a good labor strike. This time it's a transit strike which means the trains, buses, and metro are essentially shut down. Presumably the taxis are gleefully running to and from Roissy, but with the strike-induced traffic, I can only imagine how long that ride would take. Or, more alarmingly, what it would cost. 100 Euros? 200?

It kind of redefines the whole "bargain travel package" thing.

Scope

This morning when my radio alarm went off, people were calling in to the station to discuss this tragic oil spill that has befouled our beloved Bay.

Two of the most distraught callers ranted about accountability and the need for San Franciscans to rise in protest. I was right there with them until BOTH of them mentioned their dogs. "I mean," said one, winding up the call, "I have an old dog who loves to run on the beach...and now he can't."

Seriously? With the scope of this disaster, you're primarily worried about how it affects your dog's routine? Well, ma'am. I'll be honest. You just lost me.

Advent calendar

Some people in my neighborhood have raised a few holiday questions in my mind. Last month the question was:

Is October 8 too early to cover the front of one's house with spooky cobwebs, witches, skeletons, etc?

The answer is:

Yes.


Today the question is:

Is November 4 too early to erect a fully-decorated ten-foot Christmas tree in one's front room?

The answer is:

Yes.


Let's all calm down here people. Do not let retailers entirely skew your sense of time. Halloween is not actually a month-long festival and Christmas is in December. Late December. If we start counting down before Thanksgiving, advent calendars are going to have to get a lot bigger.

NYC

Things I learned during my weekend in NY:

1. NY, NY is a hell of a town
2. The Bronx is up
3. The Battery's down
4. The people ride in a hole in the ground

Oh wait. Wrong list. I already knew all that from "On the Town"

Here we go:

1. My mother is a very organized traveler

2. It is possible to become quite intoxicated on two glasses of sangria. Particularly at Alta.

3. There are still hotel rooms available in which countless thousands of people seem to have been smoking since, say, 1952.

4. On the 19th floor the windows only open two inches.

5. Even if the website says student tickets will be available if you come in person to the box office, there will be no student tickets available.

6. Jules and Talya live way, way too far away from me and my life would be much improved if they lived within sangria-drinking distance all the time.

7. The R will get you there, but not back.

8. The F train will get you back, but not there.

9. Many, many, many people enjoy running.

10. My father is a rock star.


Actually, I knew a lot of that already, particularly #'s 1 and 10. Oh, and #6--I am definitely all too aware of #6.

If I were a millionaire, or, heck, a billionaire, and I had a warmer coat, I would probably move. For this year though, two days will have to do.