Be Mine, but maybe next year?

Trader Joe's has produced what may well be the best Valentine's Day merchandizing commercial ever. It goes something like this:


Everyone knows that roses and chocolate make perfect Valentine's Day gifts, but what if your relationship hasn't reached the dozen roses stage? Finding a gift that reflects your feelings for your "friend" can be stressful. What should you do if you're not sure just how special your special someone is? Trader Joe's recommends a jar of marinated mushrooms with garlic. They are wonderfully flavorful and at just $2.69, your budget will be in line with your feelings. Of course, if you're sure, TJ's also has a large assortment of roses and chocolate at great prices, but a jar of marinated mushrooms with garlic is a great way to say, "I like you, but let's not rush into anything."

Frere Jacques

I had one of those nights of shallow sleep where I was plagued with the fear of oversleeping. Even my dreams were about being late to work. So great was my dread of somehow missing the alarm, that I was only able to relax after it had woken me up at the appointed time and I had turned it off. Only then, finally free from Alarm Anticipation Syndrome (AAS), was I able to really sleep. Which I did. For an hour. And then was very late to work.

Considering other possibilities

I heard on the radio this morning the very sad news that a missing Stanford grad student had been found dead in the trunk of her car. The police, according to the report, suspect suicide.

What?

Now clearly I haven't been through any extensive police training, but if I found someone in the trunk of her car, I probably wouldn't go with suicide as a first guess. These police officers have apparently never seen any movies. At all. Because if the cinema teaches us anything it's that dead body+trunk of car=murder. Unless there is also suikidnapping involved, which, obviously, changes things.

Color me crazy

but, no matter how arty your film may be, I'm having a hard time imagining a scenario in which it makes sense for Cate Blanchett to play the role of Bob Dylan.

Youth ministry

Grafitti scrawled on the side of a church in my neighborhood:

"Jesus is my homeboy"

Armed and Famous

This morning I heard an ad on the radio for a thoroughly ludicrous new television show called "Armed and Famous" in which "stars" are trained to be police officers and then apparently are somehow qualified to go on actual police calls with um...real police officers. There are many reasons that this seems to be a terrible idea, but from a marketing perspective, the primary problem is that the "stars" are no one I have ever heard of with two exeptions: LaToya Jackson (what?) and, gloriously, Eric Estrada. And that is pretty darn amusing.